I believe in the power of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a
great part of my life because I am called to ask for it and give it on a daily
basis. It's never been a struggle for me to forgive, but I had not realized how
important this fundamental act was until the recent passing of my grandfather,
Tomas Rosa.

I never got to know my grandfather
Tomas that well. The unfortunate truth is that I didn't know critical events
about his life until after his death. All I knew was that he was an alcoholic
and I was not supposed to be like him. I never thought my grandfather was a bad
man, but I never thought he was a good man either. Because my father had a
grudge against his father, I guess it sort of rubbed off on me and although I
loved my grandfather, I unknowingly held something that resembled a grudge
against him too.

Common
knowledge was that my father had a rough childhood. He came to Connecticut
from Puerto Rico with my uncle, grandmother and
grandfather in search for opportunity and found poverty and hunger instead. My
grandfather was not able to hold a job because of his alcoholic vise and my
grandmother made ends meet by working in factories as a seamstress, but
ultimately they were poor. After hearing these factors my whole life, my
father's resentment toward his father was clear to me and seemed justified.

It wasn't
until grandpa's funeral in November 2007, that his vises made sense to me. I
always knew his daughter died, but never realize how that would drive him to
alcohol and I learned of his bad childhood. Soon I saw that he wasn't a bad man
after all. He was a human being who was hurt and looking for love, someone no
different than me.

In my
father's eulogy, he told us a story. Grandpa had been in a convalescent home
for the past 11 years and had Alzheimer's disease. One day my father visited
him and asked grandpa if he recognized who he was. My grandfather said he didn't.
My dad asked him if he knew who Neville was and my grandfather replied, "Yes.
Neville is my son," to which my dad said, "I am Neville." At that moment
something clicked in his mind and grandpa understood who my father was and
began to cry. My dad said that he knew in his heart that those tears were
saying, "I'm sorry." This happened a week before his death.

After many years
of grief, suffering and shame to our family, we were able to forgive my
grandfather and rejoice in the fact that he accepted salvation before his
death. My father was able to forgive his father and know that he was ultimately
with our Father in heaven. I realized the importance of forgiveness and how
holding grudges and hurt only produces more hurt, not only to you, but to
others. It has lastly shown me that it is never too late to ask for
forgiveness. Forgiveness is necessary for healthy relationships and healthy hearts
and its power should never be underestimated.

Tomas Rosa 12/15/1922 - 11/09/2007